Ten Types of Chicks In Tokyo
April 11, 2008
In no particular order
1. Yomamba: Or whatever they’re calling themselves these days. These are the Japanese goth girls. Extra tan, not pale, white lipstick, eyeliner and eye shadow, lose, raggish clothing, bleach blonde hair. The idea is to look like a ghost. Or a photo negative.
2. Gold digger: You’ll find her in Rappongi, looking hot and ready to party. The hand in the front of your pants is a distraction from the hand on your wallet. Good luck.
3. Schoolgirl with old man: That’s not her dad. Who do you think bought the outfit?
4. Club girl. Hot, flat, annoying in a way. She speaks more English than she’s letting on. Kind of like the club girls at home, actually, except flat.
5. Business woman: While chipping away at the glass ceiling in black skirt-suit, she likes her men aggressive but polite, but most of all she likes them not like her boss. Foreign? She’s open to anything.
6. Korean girl at the bar: Travels in packs of hotness, doesn’t’ talk to anybody. She’s just here to study and is generally afraid of everything not like Korea. No, she doesn’t speak English. Or Japanese, for that matter, if she can help it.
7. Ex-pat white girl: Probably a teacher who is sensitive about the chauvinism all around her. She’s ready to get drunk and talk to somebody (anybody) who speaks her language and looks decent. Be a knight in shining armor with a good ear and she’ll love you until one of you gets on a plane and gets out of there.
8. Ex-pat white girl who’s fluent in Japanese: She’s never had friends in any country, hence the reason she’s had time to learn Japanese so well. Probably a barker. If not a barker, then one who will insist on scholarly oneupsmanship until you decide making love via dictionary with Japanese girl down the row is a better option.
9. Japanese girl down the row: Is dying to talk to you but is afraid to talk to you. Give it your best. No promises. Better odds if you’re in an English-style pub.
10. Kimochi girl: She stands outside of a building saying “kimochi” as she tugs on your arm. She’s dressed in dark, drab colors and looks around a lot as she says it, and very likely has bad teeth. Yeah, she’s either a hooker or a masseuse or a hybrid of both. Kimochi means “feels good.” Proceed at your own risk.
