Ten Types of Chicks In Tokyo
April 11, 2008
In no particular order
1. Yomamba: Or whatever they’re calling themselves these days. These are the Japanese goth girls. Extra tan, not pale, white lipstick, eyeliner and eye shadow, lose, raggish clothing, bleach blonde hair. The idea is to look like a ghost. Or a photo negative.
2. Gold digger: You’ll find her in Rappongi, looking hot and ready to party. The hand in the front of your pants is a distraction from the hand on your wallet. Good luck.
3. Schoolgirl with old man: That’s not her dad. Who do you think bought the outfit?
4. Club girl. Hot, flat, annoying in a way. She speaks more English than she’s letting on. Kind of like the club girls at home, actually, except flat.
5. Business woman: While chipping away at the glass ceiling in black skirt-suit, she likes her men aggressive but polite, but most of all she likes them not like her boss. Foreign? She’s open to anything.
6. Korean girl at the bar: Travels in packs of hotness, doesn’t’ talk to anybody. She’s just here to study and is generally afraid of everything not like Korea. No, she doesn’t speak English. Or Japanese, for that matter, if she can help it.
7. Ex-pat white girl: Probably a teacher who is sensitive about the chauvinism all around her. She’s ready to get drunk and talk to somebody (anybody) who speaks her language and looks decent. Be a knight in shining armor with a good ear and she’ll love you until one of you gets on a plane and gets out of there.
8. Ex-pat white girl who’s fluent in Japanese: She’s never had friends in any country, hence the reason she’s had time to learn Japanese so well. Probably a barker. If not a barker, then one who will insist on scholarly oneupsmanship until you decide making love via dictionary with Japanese girl down the row is a better option.
9. Japanese girl down the row: Is dying to talk to you but is afraid to talk to you. Give it your best. No promises. Better odds if you’re in an English-style pub.
10. Kimochi girl: She stands outside of a building saying “kimochi” as she tugs on your arm. She’s dressed in dark, drab colors and looks around a lot as she says it, and very likely has bad teeth. Yeah, she’s either a hooker or a masseuse or a hybrid of both. Kimochi means “feels good.” Proceed at your own risk.
Top 10 Bars In Tokyo
April 4, 2008
1.Footnik — If you like soccer hooligans – or the closest equivalent in Japan – check out Footnik, just a block or so from Ebisu station.
2.What the Dickens! — Also just a short stroll from Ebisu station. For the soccer hooligans that really miss home. Ale and cider on tap, British pub food. Some good banter.
3.New York Bar — $20 just to get in and not the place to be if you’re short on cash. But it is one of the best roof-top bars in the world, overlooking Shinjuku.
4.Bonebo – Don’t tell anybody we told you. It’s so hidden you’d think it’s meant to be kept secret. A converted recording studio, it’s somewhere inside Jingu-mae ni-chome.
5.Geronimo – 10 shots in a row gets your name on the wall. Second floor next to Rappongi station.
6.Bar Ambrose – Rappongi, in the Pyramid building. $4 drink Happy Hour, which means this is a great starting place.
7.Hobgoblin – Rappongi, pub-style, lots of ex-pats. House brew will make you spew.
8.Bar Bourbon Street – Because you miss America, don’t you? Jazz in Rappongi.
9.Bandol – Wine bar, because sometimes you want to appear sophisticated when getting shitfaced. In the Minami-Aoyama area.
10.Castillo – Lots of eye candy, Cuban cigars. What else do you need to know? In Rappongi.
Top 10 Phrases You’ll Need In Tokyo
March 7, 2008
1.Domo arigato gozaimasu (Thank you so much) – The people in Tokyo are surprisingly friendly and helpful for such a big city place. And it’s not hard to find somebody who speaks English really. But everybody needs to know how to say “thanks,” right? A simple thanks is “domo.” A slight more respectful “Thank you” is “Arigato.” Save the full phrase for when you really, really mean it. Tip: Domo is also “hi” and “bye” It’s more of an acknowledgment than a thanks.
2.Doko desu-ka…(Where is…) — Best pronunciation: doh-koh dess-ka. Begin the question with the object of the question. For example: Where is the toilet? = Toilet-wa doko desu-ka? Btw, “toilet” is pronounced toh-ee-ray, and roll the “r” just a little bit, almost as if it’s an “L.”
3.Kudesai (Please) – Self-explanatory; use where appropriate. Or after extra-gaijin requests like asking for a fork: Kudesai, Foku-wa arimasuka? (Ah-ree-mas-kah). Literally: Please, fork is there? Japanese = talking like Yoda.
4.Gomenesai (I’m sorry) – When you step on somebody’s foot on the subway. (Also useful if you accidentally stroll in to a Yakuza joint.)
5.Daijobu (That’s okay) – When somebody apologizes to you, which may be unlikely.
6.Nama birru hitatsu (One draft beer) – The Japanese number system is crazy. There are different words for numbers, depending on whether you are numbering cylindrical things or flat things or bottles or rabbits or birds or fish…on and on and on. When ordering beer, stick with “hitatsu,” which is for bottles of beer. “Nama” means “raw” or “draft,” which really comes out of big bottle usually anyway. If you want two beers, the number is “futatsu.” Three is “mitsu.” Any more than that, just hold up the appropriate number of fingers and smile. They’ll get it. Tell them whether you want Sapporo, Asahi, or Kirin. They usually have Bud and/or Bud Light, and sometimes even Heinekin.
7.Nan-sai desu-ka (How old are you?) — This could come in handy. Age of consent is typically 20, so watch yourself. The word for “20” is “ni-ju,” or 2 x 10, so any age that begins in “ni-ju…” is fair game. Do not confuse it with ju-ni, or 10 plus 2.
8.Kimochi (Feels good) – Not for you to say, but to understand. If an attractive girl tugs on your arm and uses this word repeatedly, she is likely one of many different kinds of prostitutes—or a legitimate masseuse. Proceed at your own risk. If she says “Sen zuri,” she’s definitely a prostitute.
9.Ikura? (How much?) — This is in no way related to #8. You will need this for other things, too, you perv. If you ask in Japanese, though, be prepared to get a Japanese answer. The best way to handle this is to know your general numbers, ich, ni, san, shi, go…et cetera.
10.Shitsurei (Excuse me) – That’s pronounced sheets-oo-ray, potty mouth. (Though you can have fun with them by asking them to use the word “city,” hardee-har-har.) It’s a polite word, used mostly if you are interrupting someone or getting a strangers attention. If more casual or feel you are even footing with someone, “chotto,” works well, too. For example, you might ask a ni-ju sai woman “Chotto, chotto. Opai-pabu-wa, doko desu-ka?” Just kidding. Don’t ask that. If so, you just asked where the nudie-bar is.
Bonus: When leaving a restaurant, it’s traditional to bow a little to hosts and say “Go chiso sama desushita!” — go-chee-soh-sah-mah-desh-tah. It means, literally, “It was a feast!” A nice way of thanking them for their hard work.
Top 10 Craziest Things Seen In Shibuya
February 29, 2008
Shibuya is Tokyo’s hipster/poser/club district for hipsters, posers, and gaijin that don’t have a lot of cash. If you’ve got money, Roppongi is the place to be, so long as you understand the girl eyeing you expects you to have no problem paying $20 per drink.
So, check out Shibuya, where you can find some great $20 all-you-can-drink-all-night specials. On the way there, just outside Shibuya Station, you may run into these things.
1. Hachiko. This is the name of the dog they immortalized in bronze at the Station. He symbolizes loyalty because legend has it that his master died at work, but Hachiko showed up at the train station every day anyway. The statue is also a hotbed for anti-American sentiment, right-wingers on top of vans shouting into bullhorns and handing out petitions to everybody that doesn’t look like you.
2. Rainbow dog. Yes, another dog. Well, dogs. The Japanese like to make stupid little yippy dogs stupider by dying their hair all kinds of colors. Don’t be surprised when you nearly trip over a dog with pink, blue, and yellow hair.
3. Weird orange-leisure-suit band wearing sunglasses at night. They play right outside the station and can gather a crowd—not because they’re any good, but because they’re weird.
4. Clusterf**k at the intersection. There’s a big, four-road intersection right outside the train station. On a Friday night, say 7ish, it looks like a concert just let out. Just squeeze yourself in and go with the flow in the general direction you want to go.
5. Fake drugs. Once you’re across the sea of people in the intersection, you’ll likely run into an out-door hipster market with likely Yakuza merchants selling “legal drugs” they compare to ecstasy, mushrooms, whatever. Try if you like, but it’s probably Sudafed.
6. Pimps. Lots of ‘em, looking for men, most definitely Yakuza. Proceed with caution, and according to your own morals and/or budget. Tip: The prostitution laws in Japan are very politician-friendly. Prostitutes and pimps get arrested, Johns typically don’t. But it may not be worth the risk, right? Best to ignore them and continue on your way.
7. Clubs. Just walk around and you’ll see them. Often small like everything in Japan with some kind of drink special. The super hot wearing-very-little Japanese women are there with somebody, guaranteed. The Korean girls are in large, beautiful groups and not interested in talking to anybody. So it’s just like going to a club back home. If you don’t know them already, you may not have any luck.
8. Japanese teens dressed in Hip Hop gear. Lots of ‘em. They’ll make you laugh. Enjoy.
9. Schoolgirls out too late and with men much too old for them. This is a “special” relationship. The old man is paying for her school uniform and school-associated necessities. She offers him “company.” This is kind of legal, like escort services.
10. Trains not running after midnight. If you didn’t come to party all night, you’d better make sure you’re back at the station, timing the last train just right so you’re sure it can make it back to where you’re going before the entire Japanese rail system shuts down for the night. Otherwise, unless you want to pay way, way, way too much for a cab, you’re stuck in Shibuya until dawn. Better there than somewhere in between after they kick you off the train.
Top 10 Dance Clubs in Tokyo
November 20, 2007
Hey there, dancing queens, you are required by the top best dance clubs in Tokyo. Check it out and choose!
1. Club Vivian
Location : Azabu Palace Building B1 2-25-18 Nishi-Azabu, Minato-ku
Telephone : +81 (0) 3 3406 8477
Club Vivian is highly recommended for all hipsters on Saturday nights as the dance floor is completely cluttered with many club goers. Top-quality New York House, the music which is catered only on Saturday, makes all dancing queens forget everything around but dance! Although the club is pretty small, there’s enough space for crazy dancers and those who are in the mood to chill. If you are into techno, you are welcome on other nights of the week.
2. Club Complex Code
Location : Shinjuku Toho Kaikan 4F 1-19-2 Kabuki-cho, Shinjuku-ku
Telephone : +81 (0) 3209 0702
Club Complex Code is such a tremendous club in Tokyo comprising of four rooms and three dance floors, many bars and buffets and giant screens where Visual DJs can be seen in the mix. Since the main room is huge and available for over 1000, watch your direction and don’t get lost! The music of house verging on hard house and trance is a hit but disco dance is also provided. The club is unique with a popular men-only gay night on the last Sunday of the month.
3. Afromania
Location : Black Aoyama Bldg , 3-2-7 Minami-Aoyama, Minato-ku
Telephone : +81 (0) 3 408 1546
Afromania is a small club but well formed. Despite its capacity of only 80, people queue in order to get in. Top hits music is provided especially for the reggae crowd by great DJs spinning top quality beats. With the decoration of rainforest theme and narrow space, the club makes you feel a naturalistic closure. It’s common among the clubs in Tokyo that the entry price is inclusive of a couple of drinks, pay and get drinks to warm up your hot evening!
4. Velfarre
Location : Velfarre Bldg, 7-14-22 Roppongi , Minato-ku
Telephone : +81 (0) 3 3402 8000
Velfarre rules all clubs in Asia! This club is the biggest in Asia and possibly in the world. You can’t predict what the club is like each night as almost every night is different and what makes this club so exciting! Hard house, techno and nights of Eurobeat are provided to club goers’ different taste of music. With the vast space, you can’t see the end of the bars and snack stalls.
5. Yellow
Location : B1 B2F Cesaurus Nishi Azabu 1-10-11, Minatoku 150-0061
Telephone : +81 (0) 3 5458 2826
Club yellow is one of the popular nightspots and Tokyo’s oldest and most reserved club located in the basement of the building. The club is also knows as “Space Lab Yellow” since visitors can try anything they want and be experimental! Lots of fine international DJs gather here spinning great house and techno.
6. Liquid Room
Location : 3-16-6, Ebisu, Shibuya-ku
Telephone : +81(0) 3-5464-0800
Liquid Room is not a spacious club but always cluttered on the dance floor. This venue hosts international and local bands/DJs and the best sound system. You can kick off your evening at Liquid room at 6pm. Unlike other clubs in Tokyo which are open till early in the morning, Liquid Room closes at midnight, thus make sure you come early to spend 6 hours long at this great club.
7. Womb
Location : 2-16 Maruyama-cho, Shibuya-ku
Telephone : +81354590039
With its 3 floor-high dance floor and located in the heart of Sibuya, Womb appeals to many hipsters every night. The fourth floor features a larger bar with glass walls and a lounge to unwind oneself. The club throws house, techno, tribal and drum and bass with a flawless sound system. Womb’s colossal dace floors which have a capacity for more than 1000 people and the most dazzling and the big disco ball are its hallmarks.
8. Lexington Queen
Location : 3 -13-14 Roppongi Minato-ku
Telephone : +81 (0)3 3401 1661
Lexington Queen has been around for 25 years and is best known as a favorite night spot of models and celebrities. The atmosphere is made for Japanese to mingle with foreigners and more than half of the visitors here are foreigners. The club is usually packed on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, however, depending on celebrities as they draw the number of other club goers. Lexington Queen also offers ladies nights on weekdays (usually Monday).
9. Vuenos
Location : 2-21-7 Dogenzaka, Shibuya-ku
Telephone : +81 3 5459 7988
Vuenos plays great music such as hip-hop, techno, Latin music and sometimes reggae. On weekends, live Latin performances, which appeal such a crowd, are provided. The club has an immense dance floor at the basement of the building, food and drinks are also available. There’s a cozy VIP room for those who want to set their own party. This is a perfect place for a night to remember.
10. Mogambo
Location : 1st Fl. Osawa Bldg. 6-1-7, Roppongi, Minato-ku
Telephone : 81-3-3403 4833
Mogambo has a seating capacity for 25 people and it is an intimidate affair while 50 more people are left to stand and enjoy the great music. With friendly and down-to-earth nature of bartenders, the club’s unique atmosphere, awesome music and creative shots and cocktails, make visitors relaxed after a whole day of work. Although Mogambo lacks some more space to hold more customers, never does it lack the popularity.
